Ramblings

We finally received some good news today to offset all the bad luck that has come my way lately. I called my insurance company and after putting me on hold for over 10 minutes while researching my coverage and claims, the nice lady came back to tell me that they are going to pay the claims. Yeah!!!

As I am sitting here typing, I started having ovulation pains on my left side. That is also good news. DH and I are trying the au naturale method this cycle after a medicated cycle. Of course I am still using my trusty ovulation monitor though.

On the acupuncture front, I made an appointment at a new clinic, check out their blog. They are into getting the body and mind to work to together and provide nutritional counselling, cupping, herbal consulting, Moxabustion and tui-na at no additional cost when doing an acupuncture treatment. Honestly, at the prices they charge ($225 first visit & $115 each treatment) I should get a lot more. The other places I have gone to were only $75 and $70 per treatment. Fingers crossed that this new expensive place closes the door when I'm partially dressed with needles sticking out of my skin.

I mentioned a few months ago that my brother-in-law and his wife are pregnant again with twins and they are having girls. They recently found out the girls are paternal twins, which is suprising as that means she ovulated two eggs in one month with only one tube and no stimulation. It's amazing as she is my age and was diagnosed with HPV years ago. She knows how lucky she is and both she and my BIL are both very sensitive to our IF issues. I haven't asked what they are planning to name the girls yet. They are so lucky to have their family almost complete but I'm sure they are only thinking that they are going to have 3 babies all under two years old. That is a lot of nappies (aka diapers).

My bad luck just keeps going...

Before I start on my bad luck story, I would like to thank everyone for their comments in response to my acupuncture post. On Thursday, I did try acu #2 once again and I have decided that I will NOT go back. Mostly due to the fact that the guy that works with her gave me a massage on my back to loosen my muscles and now I have bruises in the middle of my back around my spine. There is another place I am going to try next week.

Ok, now to my (really, both DH and I) bad luck...

Two weeks ago, dh went to local pharmacy to get a few things and parked in the lot behind the building. He decided to go three shops down and get cash out of the bank ATM before going into pharmacy. By the time he was in the line to pay in the pharmacy, a tow truck guy came up to him and said he was towing the car because he went to bank and pharmacy and lot was only for pharmacy parking. WHAT?! The guy then made him pay $108 in cash on the spot to get the car off the tow truck. Since our 12 year old dog was still in the car, there was no other option but to pay him. What a scam?! DH did report it to the city of New York and also to some other agency that is investigating.

One week ago, we get a $115 parking ticket in downtown while we are shopping. Due to construction there were no signs posted that it was a fire lane that we apparently parked in. Out of the three cars that were parked in front and behind us, we were the only ones that got a ticket. How fair is that?!

Early this week, DH calls me at work to say that the fraud department from our bank left a message on our home voice mail and that I need to call them straight away. Oh great...What else? Yes, unlucky me... My ATM card number and PIN have been "compromised" and over the weekend someone in Montreal, Canada has withdrawn $2,000 out of our bank account!!! Although, the bank is not going to hold us responsible for the money, it will take a few weeks to before it gets put back into our account and after we do piles of paper work. ugh.

Yesterday started off very nice with a decent 6 inches of snow and since I love snow I thought that maybe my luck would change.... Nope..... DH called me around 2pm to say that our car, which was securely parked in front of our apartment building, was hit by a department of sanitation truck and the whole front area around the wheel and the front bumper were smashed up and the tire had a huge hole in it and was flat. The sanitation truck must have slid back and sideways as 4 cars were damaged. They did leave a claim form for us. How nice of them?

Then today I received a notice from my insurance company that before they pay any of my claims (which I have already paid out of our dimished bank account) they need additional information about why the procedures were performed. Hello??? they paid all my claims last year for the same reason? Infertility!! Now that I'm paying them myself they are stalling? What the fuck?!

When is my luck going to change?

What did I do to deserve all this?

Opinions appreciated

I'm requesting opinions about acupuncture. Out of all of the failures I've had with IUIs and IVFs, one of the best follie responses I had was when I did acupuncture during the 6 weeks prior to IVF. My last attempt at IVF was poor and we converted to IUI. So, last week I decided to give it another try but with a more convenient acupuncturist.

Although both claimed to specialize in fertility treatments, my new acupuncturist did things completely differently. First off she didn't request to see any medical records or anything related to previous cycles. She only asked a few questions about past attempts. Then I got undressed from the waist down and covered up in a very thin paper blanket and the guy she works with came in and made me do this weird exercise where I'm laying flat on my back and shift each hip up towards my shoulder and then the other all while he was pressing on my belly. Did I mention that I went on CD2 and I had cramps and was bloated all while he was pressing on my belly?! Then he left and she came in to do the needle work, she kept telling me how bloated I was?!! HELLO?! did I not just tell you that it was CD2? I don't think she understood.... of course I am bloated you stupid cow!! All the drama aside, when she had all the needles in (which were all up and down my legs and around the ovary/uterus area), I felt all kinds of tingling throughout where the needles were.

And I hate that I am laying on a table in the dark (with no pants on) with the door cracked open. I feel exposed and couldn't relax as much as I wanted to.

My old acupuncturist was completely different, she requested that I bring a copy of my medical records and reviewed them thoroughly with me. Some of the needle placement was the same in the belly/uterus/ovary area and on the feet and inner lower leg but not all the way up and down my legs. After she placed all the needles then she would hook some of the ones around my ovaries to a machine that sent electrical pulses through the needles. I would fall asleep every time I went. At the end, she would have me roll onto my stomach and use a heated glass globe place in the back ovary areas and only leave it on for a few seconds to stimulate them from behind.

Is this similar to anyone else's experience? Has anyone else ever had to do pelvic exercises while pressing on their tummy? What has been the areas of needle focus?

I have my second appointment with the new acupuncturist tomorrow after work and I'm curious to hear everyone else's experiences.

Confirmed - BFN

Had beta this morning and it was a BFN. No suprise. What REALLY pisses me off is the fact that AF arrived about 10am. Why could it not have arrived about 4-5hours earlier so I could have slept in and not been stuck with a needle? Just my luck?!

I'm not going to dwell on why I can't seem to get all my follicles to grow much less get pregnant. So, I stopped on the way home and picked up fresh pasta and sauce and a bottle of Australian Shiraz. I'm currently on my second glass of wine, DH is working tonight so it's just me and G, the dog, having a calm relaxing valentine's day.

Thanks to everyone who wished me luck this cycle, you all make this craziness bearable.

12dpiui

I did it, I POAS this morning and it was negative. I'm not suprised at all. Even though I have no symptoms of pregnancy or of AF arriving anytime soon, I wasn't suprised to see the single line. Hard to believe that in 37 years that I have never seen double lines.

Going for Beta on Thursday but it will just confirm what I already know.

Maybe one day I'll see double lines just not this cycle.

I have not done it yet

DH talked me out of POAS for the past couple of days but I am going to do it tomorrow morning.

I have no signs one way or the other. In past cycles, I had cramping which apparently was the follices and ovaries shrinking back down to normal size. But I have not had anything this cycle.

I don't have anything interesting to post tonight. This post sucks.

I've been tagged - twice!!

How lucky am I? Two lovely ladies tagged me, Carrie and Working Girl.

Anyway, here are the rules:
1) Link to the person who tagged you
2) Post the rules
3) Share six non-important things / habits / quirks about yourself
4) Tag at least three people
5) Make sure the people you tagged KNOW you tagged them by commenting what you did

1. I can NOT whistle at all. I know it's weird but it is something that has frustrated me my whole life. DH can whistle so loud that a taxi will stop 3 blocks away but I can not make a sound. I have tried and tried and nothing... I just can't.

2. I used to race cross country mountain bikes. Seventeen miles up and down rocky, muddy hills. I loved it and still have my racing bike. It's very impractical for someone living in NYC to have two bikes (three really with DH's road bike) but I have an emotional attachment to it. I have not ridden it in over two years and that was only to the park and that was amazing because the road bike guys at the park all turned to look at the cool mountain bike.

3. I was a whitewater river guide during summers at college. During a few summers during college, I lived in a tent in the middle of no where working for a outfitter that took folks down class 3 and 4 rapids. During my spare time those summers I would spend in my own kayak playing in the river. It was an amazing time in my life and although I had nothing fancy to put on my resume about those summers during undergrad, I have some AMAZING memories. Bet some of my co-workers would be so shocked that might faint if they knew.

4. I followed the Grateful Dead around the country for a few weeks after my high school graduation. I was not a hard core dead head but one of my best friends and I thought it would be fun. So we packed up a van that her dad let us borrow and had a very interesting time. I can say that the people we met were very nice and there was a nice community.

5. I sometimes have a no shower Sunday. It's not as disgusting as it sounds and I don't do it often. But sometimes I don't feel like showering so I don't. It's like backwoods camping indoors. Don't worry, I always shower before going to work.

6. About 2 years ago, I donated 10 inches of my hair to charity. It went to make wigs for women with cancer. Most folks only donate one ponytail but my hair is quite thick and my hairdresser had to separate my hair into two so that he could cut through it. Thanks Mom for the thick hair!! I had always worn my hair long but since I cut it all off, I've worn it slightly above my shoulders. I am considering growning it out again and whacking it off for charity again. Hmm...


OK, the hard part is finding folks who has not already been tagged. SO, I'm tagging Claire, jp and emilythehopeless.

Bored at 9dpiui

It is 9 dpiui and I have so far refrained from POAS and currently have no symptoms. Usually after injecting so many hormones into my system my ovaries hurt as the swelling comes down and I haven't had any of that this cycle. I think it is because of the different progestrone supp. My new clinic uses prog supp that are actually pills and there is a lot less leakage. Yeah!!

Hmm... Is 10 dpiui too early to POAS?? I am thinking of breaking down tomorrow morning and just doing it. I know it is really early but I am horrible at waiting. Maybe I can wait until Monday morning? Maybe not. I don't go for my blood test until Thurs and I never go in for a blood test without testing at home first. Should I start testing now and if there is any of the HCG shot left, I could watch it fade out of my system each day? I don't know... I don't have a lot of patience.

I think I have mentioned that I have an older sister. She had a son at 30 and had to use clomid to get pregnant and he is now 11. Anyway, she was taken to the emergency room yesterday for pain and they found a HUGE cyst on her ovary. Apparently, it is the size of a baseball and causing a LOT of pain, as you could imagine. I'm always nervous when she gets sick, she is my only sibling and I don't know what I would do if something bad happened to her. See the thing is, when she had my nephew her blood pressure went sky high and she has been on heavy meds ever since to try and control it. She is not overweight but her diet is aweful and she is a very very high strung person. I worry that she will not take care of herself and something aweful will happen. She is doing ok, but is upset that she is probably going to have to have surgery and she thinks no one can do her job while she is out. She is on heavy narcotics at the moment for pain until she can get to her gyn on Monday morning but I still got frustrated on the phone with her just now and yelled and told her to stay in bed. She has a husband and two sons (18 & 11) and they should be helping her out but are sooo lazy. Frustrates and worries me.

Ok, off to the grocery store to get some wholesome foods.

Very tired

Sorry, I have been an absent blogger. Work has been very crazy and by the time I get home at night, I am falling asleep eating my dinner. I have been going to bed very early around 10pm (I'm usually awake until after 11:30). I'm pretty sure it's the hormone swing from the max dosage to the nothing.

Besides being tired, things have been very pleasant here in the big apple. I have decided to start looking inside and outside the firm for another/better job. I'm in a position now that all the good and interesting work is being done in London since my entire team was laid off in November. I feel like I'm not going to go anywhere in my current position. It sucks but I'm going to make the best of a bad situation.

6 dpiui - Progestrone suppositories are disgusting.

Ugh, I'm getting a sore throat. I'm going to bed now.

Beginning 2ww and anniversaries

Yesterday was an eventful day. It was our 4th wedding anniversary (which I almost forgot about) and the 3rd anniversary of TTC. Although, we didn't celebrate the second, it was like the 400lb gorilla in the room.

How romantic is it that dh got to provide a semen specimen for our 4th IUI attempt on our anniversary? This was his first time at our new clinic providing a specimen and of course he was impressed by the porn collection in the "room". There is also a recliner with a spillage pad. Our old clinic didn't have a room and requested that the specimens be brought in, but they did provide a handicap bathroom which had a do not disturb sign on it if the specimen was given on site. DH did that once and said that there was a lady waiting outside the door for him to finish. Luckily he has a very active imagination and has never had any issues and is usually done in 5-10 minutes tops.

The IUI went off without a hitch and dh's specimen was very good with 91% motility after wash. I really liked the nurse that did the IUI, she was very nice and had a good sense of humor. In the past I had always gone straight back to work but decided to lay around the rest of yesterday and took the day off. We both took long naps during the day which we never get to do and dh made a very nice healthy dinner then we watched Lost.

On the depressing work front, we had bonuses and promotions announced yesterday. I got a call from my department head in London at 7am to tell me that I didn't get promoted (although I was on the short list), didn't get an annual salary increase and that I didn't even get a 10% bonus. It just confirmed that I need to move to another group within the firm. The sub-prime mortage collapse is having a direct hit on my salary. It's depressing.

I took the day off today and I have absolutely nothing planned besides maybe a little shopping and a nap sometime this afternoon. I LOVE naps. Oh yeah, dh's acting coach bought us a book which we are both reading, The Fertility Diet. I know my diet needs some help because I eat too much sugar but with dh's help I know I can cut my intake. I am going to look for some creative ideas for some Super Bowl snacks. DH and I only watch the game for the commercials, we are wondering if his new Heinken commercial might air. Fingers crossed as it would be $$ if it did air.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words during my most recent attempt at IVF. It means the world to me.