Changes

A few changes have happened since my last post. I am currently unemployed.... by my choice. I resigned a while back as I had an amazing offer from another banking institution which I happily accepted. I am on a week break from being employed and thought DH and I would go camping and lay low but that was not how the karma gods had it planned. DH came down with a horrible stomach flu which has lasted since Sunday night. It started with vomiting and changed exit strategies on Monday. He has not been able to keep anything in his system at all. We decided to go camping yesterday as he was feeling a bit better... bad idea. We came home this morning and he went to the dr (finally). Oh yeah and we don't have medical insurance right now since I don't start my new job until Monday.

Anyway, this is my way to venting that what was suppose to be a slow paced relaxed week off has not turned out the way I had wanted or planned. At least the weather has been spectacular.

Fingers crossed that DH's medicines will work and he will be able to keep food inside. He has lost over 5lbs since Sunday.

No news on the 2WW. No symptoms. No AF. Nothing

12dpiui

I did it, I POAS this morning and it was negative. I'm not suprised at all. Even though I have no symptoms of pregnancy or of AF arriving anytime soon, I wasn't suprised to see the single line. Hard to believe that in 37 years that I have never seen double lines.

Going for Beta on Thursday but it will just confirm what I already know.

Maybe one day I'll see double lines just not this cycle.

I have not done it yet

DH talked me out of POAS for the past couple of days but I am going to do it tomorrow morning.

I have no signs one way or the other. In past cycles, I had cramping which apparently was the follices and ovaries shrinking back down to normal size. But I have not had anything this cycle.

I don't have anything interesting to post tonight. This post sucks.

Bored at 9dpiui

It is 9 dpiui and I have so far refrained from POAS and currently have no symptoms. Usually after injecting so many hormones into my system my ovaries hurt as the swelling comes down and I haven't had any of that this cycle. I think it is because of the different progestrone supp. My new clinic uses prog supp that are actually pills and there is a lot less leakage. Yeah!!

Hmm... Is 10 dpiui too early to POAS?? I am thinking of breaking down tomorrow morning and just doing it. I know it is really early but I am horrible at waiting. Maybe I can wait until Monday morning? Maybe not. I don't go for my blood test until Thurs and I never go in for a blood test without testing at home first. Should I start testing now and if there is any of the HCG shot left, I could watch it fade out of my system each day? I don't know... I don't have a lot of patience.

I think I have mentioned that I have an older sister. She had a son at 30 and had to use clomid to get pregnant and he is now 11. Anyway, she was taken to the emergency room yesterday for pain and they found a HUGE cyst on her ovary. Apparently, it is the size of a baseball and causing a LOT of pain, as you could imagine. I'm always nervous when she gets sick, she is my only sibling and I don't know what I would do if something bad happened to her. See the thing is, when she had my nephew her blood pressure went sky high and she has been on heavy meds ever since to try and control it. She is not overweight but her diet is aweful and she is a very very high strung person. I worry that she will not take care of herself and something aweful will happen. She is doing ok, but is upset that she is probably going to have to have surgery and she thinks no one can do her job while she is out. She is on heavy narcotics at the moment for pain until she can get to her gyn on Monday morning but I still got frustrated on the phone with her just now and yelled and told her to stay in bed. She has a husband and two sons (18 & 11) and they should be helping her out but are sooo lazy. Frustrates and worries me.

Ok, off to the grocery store to get some wholesome foods.

Beginning 2ww and anniversaries

Yesterday was an eventful day. It was our 4th wedding anniversary (which I almost forgot about) and the 3rd anniversary of TTC. Although, we didn't celebrate the second, it was like the 400lb gorilla in the room.

How romantic is it that dh got to provide a semen specimen for our 4th IUI attempt on our anniversary? This was his first time at our new clinic providing a specimen and of course he was impressed by the porn collection in the "room". There is also a recliner with a spillage pad. Our old clinic didn't have a room and requested that the specimens be brought in, but they did provide a handicap bathroom which had a do not disturb sign on it if the specimen was given on site. DH did that once and said that there was a lady waiting outside the door for him to finish. Luckily he has a very active imagination and has never had any issues and is usually done in 5-10 minutes tops.

The IUI went off without a hitch and dh's specimen was very good with 91% motility after wash. I really liked the nurse that did the IUI, she was very nice and had a good sense of humor. In the past I had always gone straight back to work but decided to lay around the rest of yesterday and took the day off. We both took long naps during the day which we never get to do and dh made a very nice healthy dinner then we watched Lost.

On the depressing work front, we had bonuses and promotions announced yesterday. I got a call from my department head in London at 7am to tell me that I didn't get promoted (although I was on the short list), didn't get an annual salary increase and that I didn't even get a 10% bonus. It just confirmed that I need to move to another group within the firm. The sub-prime mortage collapse is having a direct hit on my salary. It's depressing.

I took the day off today and I have absolutely nothing planned besides maybe a little shopping and a nap sometime this afternoon. I LOVE naps. Oh yeah, dh's acting coach bought us a book which we are both reading, The Fertility Diet. I know my diet needs some help because I eat too much sugar but with dh's help I know I can cut my intake. I am going to look for some creative ideas for some Super Bowl snacks. DH and I only watch the game for the commercials, we are wondering if his new Heinken commercial might air. Fingers crossed as it would be $$ if it did air.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words during my most recent attempt at IVF. It means the world to me.

Converting to IUI

I went in for my b/w and u/s this morning and was ready to see two follies growing strong. I was not surprised with the results. My measurements were:
Right - 1 @17mm, 1 @11mm and 2 @9mm
Left - 1 @ 21mm, 2 @11mm and 1 @ 9mm

My RE called me at work this afternoon and we discussed (very discreetly in an open office) my results and options. He said he would support my decision to go forward with IVF but that my chances were the same with IUI and IVF with 2 dominant follies.

So, I am triggering tonight with insemination on Thursday. I think I am taking 1/2 Thursday and Friday off work.

I've made peace with the decision to convert to IUI and will be hopeful that dh's little swimmers will meet my eggs. I know my chances for success this cycle, but I'm still going to hope.

13dpiui

Well, it has been almost a week since I last posted anything. It was a busy week and weekend, I was out of town being a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding over the weekend. Don't you just hate it when you are at a wedding and people ask "do you have children?", "I heard you are trying to have a baby, just wait til you see what it does to your body?", "it's getting about time that you start a family, isn't it?" or my favorite.... "my husband just looked at me and we got pregnant".

To top off the weekend, the bride's mothers dog bit me. I'm a dog person and had even played with the dog (which is about 65lbs) the night before, but he got freaked out with having 50+ people in his house and bit me on the thigh. I called my RE today and he wants me to get a tetanus shot. Great...another shot!

I took a HPT yesterday and got a BFN. I still haven't gotten AF which is getting late for me as I usually only have 24 day cycles. Since I didn't trigger until CD13, I will probably get AF tomorrow or Wednesday. But tomorrow is bloodtest to tell me that I've had another failed attempt to have a baby. I haven't slowed down enough this cycle to get emotional but I'm sure I will be tomorrow. I am giving strict instructions to the nurse to call my home with results. I'm 99.9% sure that it will be negative but I know when I hear it from the nurse that it is final and I'll get upset.

Best I can hope for is that my next cycle I'll produce enough eggs to go through ER. I wish I knew what could make my body produce a lot of eggs. Any suggestions??