I'm not feeling the holiday spirit this year. I'm not going to spend Christmas with my family this year for the first time in my life. I just don't feel like it. DH and I are spending a quiet extended weekend at home. We are having another couple over for Christmas dinner but besides that we are not doing much. DH's cousin will be here for a week starting tomorrow but she has a very long list of sites she wants to see in NYC, so we are just going to point her in the right direction and send her on her way.
January marks 3 years for us ttc and its not an anniversary we are celebrating. As I look back over the last 3 years, we were very naive going into this and now we are more cynical than hopeful. Sad but true... We just want to look at our child and see both of us in them. Is that so bad?
Over the last week, we have decided what our plan is for the next year. We are changing RE clinics and since our insurance will reimburse us for 3 more IVF attempts, we are going to continue to try for the next year and hopefully we are successful, but if not, we will discuss that at the end of 2008.
The only bright spot this last week were the courtside seats at the New Jersey Nets game on Tuesday. DH and I are not really basketball fans but who would pass up free courtside seats with VIP lounge tickets? I enjoyed a glass of wine and DH enjoyed a few beers without worrying about how it would effect our chances of ttc. It was a nice break from reality.