AF arrives and other negativity

AF arrived today almost on schedule. I'm usually a short cycle of about 21-23 days but I'm happy that last cycle went a full 24 days. I was watching the calendar as usual as we tried the old fashion way this cycle but I wasn't expecting much.

I was catching up on reading blogs today and its realized that although I have all crazy emotions and feeling of loneliness that other IFers also have these feelings. Lately, I have been very lonely and drepressed about my childless situation. My life has been very boring since I changed jobs which has not helped my situation. Everyone I work with has kids and rush home. I don't blame them but I miss working with gay men (like at my previous job), they are so much more fun. I have realized that I don't do bored well... I have been grumpy for weeks now and I'm surprised that DH has so much patience with me. Is there something wrong with me? I just feel like something really bad is about to happen.

I'm going to stop now, I've gotten myself into a dark place. Sorry for the depressing post. It's just where I'm at right now.

AF arrived early

So, I think my reproductive system is pissed off at me. Last cycle was only 16 days and I believe that was because previous cycle was an IVF cycle. But this cycle was only 21 days and that is even short for me, according to my CBE monitor and O pains, I ovulated on CD 11. So my LP was only 10 days, which is concerning although I had an ultrasound mid-cycle that didn't show any polyps. Yes, I know I have LPD, but come on ... 21 days sucks.

Going in for day 2 monitoring tomorrow morning. Glad to start monitoring on a Sunday since this is a new clinic and I won't have to rush off to work immediately afterwards, I can take my time with nurse and drill her with questions. I'm hoping for a good antral follicle count this cycle. I would be happy with 6 - 8, but I would be over the moon with more than 8. See I am a poor responder but I'm hoping the estrogen will help with follicle recruitment this cycle. My RE is optimistic that I am still producing quality eggs and that in my last cycle my eggs were over cooked. Anyway, I'm not going to dwell on past cycles.

I am going to make sure that I get plenty of sleep and lots of protein this cycle. Unfortunately dh has been sick all last week with this cold/flu thing that has been going around. And now, he was up all last night with a stomach virus. I don't think it was anything he ate because I ate the same thing and I feel fine. He is still miserable and is having a hard time getting comfortable which is making it hard to get some sleep as he got none last night.

Ok, I'm off to get dh some tylenol pm to help him sleep and get some food for the long weekend as it is going to be very very cold (I've already checked weather.com twice this morning). I'm hoping to jazz up my blog this weekend with some photos and other fun stuff. With dh sick, I have no one to play with but the dog and he is very old and sleeps most of the day.

My ovaries are angry

To start my weekend, AF arrived late on Friday. It has been very heavy so I had very little energy all weekend (napping has become my favorite hobby). I have also been very bloated and stomach seems swollen. I think my ovaries are pissed off because of the work they have been doing.

DH and I are taking this cycle off of drugs to let my body/ovaries rest but considering how short my cycles typically are, that is only 3 1/2 weeks. We will still be using the Clearblue Easy ovulation monitor and trying naturally but that is a long shot given our history.

Our RE appt is this afternoon to discuss our failure last cycle. I am not looking forward to it but it is necessary. I'm guessing they are going to change my drug cocktail next time around and probably skip the bcp as my ovaries were too slow after that.

Will post the results of my RE visit later today.